Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Alyss Flite/Rescuing Paula and Garhuckle

Dear people, old and young,
I had been carring Ouga around on my back for a while and noticed that he weighs exactly the same as Jethro (My watermelon that was father of Gerald who was father of Gerald the II who was father of Gerald the III who was father of Gerald the IV who was my missing pet watermelon who I had to leave to to the fact that my house exploaded.) I then passed the hospital in which Alyss and Garhuckle was in, soon found that Garhuckle was not there and Alyss was out of her coma... al thought I wasn't in the room due to the fact that the nurses wouldn't let me, they say that Ouga smelt weired... Bitches.

I got my hands on a computer and found that Garhuckle has gotten into trouble. Woke Ouga up to get him to use his ears to find Paula but found that he continued stabbing me. grabbed a watermelon and shoved it on his stick and yelled "THERE, LOOK! BIG HARD THING TO SMASH THINGS WITH!" He then looked at it and swung it around, unforunately the watermelon caught the head on a local to whom was knocked out cold. Ran for it. Ouga eventually found Paula in a internet cafe with a crowd of people swaming around her, told Ouga to hit every one on the head... he enjoyed himself emencely with his new found toy whilst I grabbed Paula and once again, ran for it, grabbing Ouga along the way, who the started to hit me on the head as a source of entertainment, due to the fact that I had taken him away from the original source. Got tired of having my head smashed in so I snatched to stick off him and gave him a good whacking untill he fell unconscious. Ended up carrying him again while Paula carried his stick and watermelon who I called Aguo (Ouga backwards).

Ran back to the hospital, left Paula with Aguo and the still unconscious Ouga outside while I dashed in and grabbed Alyss, who said that she could fly and make sure that Garhuckle was at the Outrigger. After 5 minutes we saw her fly overhead and said that he was there.

So now we are at the Outrigger and all very tired. Garhuckle, Alyss Ouga and I are all awaiting Paula's return from the shops with corned beef with the money that she accumulated from the fans that she had (and maybe some fizzy drinks).

Tired Reguards,

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Great... Just Great.

Dear followers of my grim story,
I am now stuck in Greece with Ouga... He seems to be liking me a lot due to the fact that he likes the Indian folk songs that I play on my fish lute, otherwise he just hits me on the head with his stick. I got sick of that so I took the guava off and ate it, Ouga didn't digest that too well, he has been stabbing me for the past hour, then I played a Indian lullaby, in which he fell asleep. Now I have to piggyback him every where. (Thank god he's light!)

Before that a giant Bird woman fell down in out boat after Ouga hit her on the head. She claims to be named, "Alyss Flite" and wanting pancakes before falling back in to a semi un-concious state. I wanted to do so Indian resuscitational skills on her... But Garhuckle wouldn't allow it, he said that I was out of my mind WELL HELLO! IF YOU HADN'T NOTICED I'M STUCK IN A BOAT WITH INSANE PEOPLE, OF COURSE I'M OUT OF MY MIND! (besides, I miss Ankur, I hope that Ishmal has given him his monthly dose of rose water mixed with a bit of cow poo.).

Shortly after Alyss' arrival, we came across the mysterious land that turned out to be canoe-eating snakes. They won, so then we had to use Alyss' wings as a raft. Ouga kept standing on my head... and then jumping on it, he proberly knocked me out because I woke up once being wetter than I remember.

After a while we difted upon the shores of Greece which is where I stand... with Ouga. Garhuckle went with Alyss to search for a hospital, Paula went to search for a drink and I wanted to explore... Ouga came with me.

With a very sore head,


Sunday, November 19, 2006

At sea with Garhuckle, Paula and... Ouga?

Dear bored ones,
I am getting increasingly annoyed with the amount of time spent out at sea( but thank god we survived that cyclone!). Day after day after day, watching Garhuckle and his makeshift computer, after taking it whilst he was sleeping, Ouga decided to wake him up by smashing him over the head with the guava. He is now nagging me for it. Anyway, Ouga to who speaks no english, (it’s a wonder how Garhuckle found out that "Ouga" was his name.) kept making hissing noises jumping around therefore I thought that it was some defence, but then I realized that that's noise that the lava makes when it tounches things. Like I said, he likes to hit Garhuckle on the head with his guava stick. Quite scary. Never the less, there is a giant thing that is flying in the sky (also quite scary) plus there is a blob on the horizon, hopefully land.

Hopefull reguards,

P.S. Paula and Garhuckle are not talking to me... apparently because I talk about Ankur and how I'm worried about him being with Ishmal too much. It's Poppycock.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Dear civilised people,
After Garhuckle helped me off the volcanoe, we went to search for Paula who is hidden somewhere. we eventually found her in a cave just in time. Garhuckle led us to his cannoe or so he says for there is a "phantom hog" in there. I'm getting a little scared of him. I think that Paula and Garhuckle are a little pissed because I screwed up their island, but never the less, they'll warm up to me!

distant, but still alive,

Monday, November 13, 2006


Dear followers,
On a good note, I now know where I am going if I was moving which of course I'm not due to the fact that I have landed on the island... in the most inconvienient spot... The volcanoe and now it is starting to erupt due to myself crashing into it. F**k. On another good note, I think I saw some horses, that could be what Garhukcle heard in the bushes. Hmmmmm, speak of the devil, he he comes now, and he seems to have a mixture of anger and worry on his face. double f**k.

With lots of concern,

Strange. Just plain strange.

Dear interested people,
It appears to me that I miscalculated my timing for I am approaching Jackaland. It must have been the wind that is pulling me forward to the ever growing storm. Oh dear. The clouds are adding insult to injury due to the fact that I can no longer see where I am going. Double oh dear.

Full of worry,

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Beech King Air 200

Dear People of the World,
I am very lucky/clever to be able to get my belovered Beech King Air 200 all the way from Australia to my home in Goa. From there I shall go to rescue Garhucle and Paula from the smoking Volcanoe. I will need someone to look after Ankur the pomegranate to who is now a little seedling. I think I'll get Ishmal to look after him, as long as his god damn cow doen't step on him!

Kind regards,

Friday, November 10, 2006

Quick Update

Dear people whom have the time to read my blog,
Ishmal's cow with the scary hump (you know, the one who tried to eat my laptop?) started to walk on my pomegranate patch... luckly he did not harm my seed who is named Ankur.

I dicieded to go in into the city, but Ishmal wouldn't allow it. He then made me were a Sari, What's wrong with jeans and a tank top? Honestly, these people scare me!

Untill I post again, Charlie.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Dear readers,
I have now been transfered to India, in a romote area of Goa, due to the explosion of my house, along with it, my watermelon patch. Therefore I have to move on from watermelons and start on the local fruit, a pomegranate seed who is named "Ankur" which is the name version of 'sprout', according to my Indian neighbour, Ishmal.

Thankfully I have gotten the internet up and runnning dispite Ishmal's cow with the scary hump coming and chewing on my laptop.
Kind regards, Charlie

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Dear distant relations,
My name is Charlie Pucker. For quite a while I have been investigating the kid-nap--- errr... watermelon-napping of my faithful pet watermelon happily named Gerald IV, descendant of Gerald III who is a descendant of Gerald II who is descendant of Gerald who is the nephew of Flora who was a sister to Jethro who was the father to Gerald who is the father of Gerald II who is fater of Gerald III who is the fater of Gerald IV who is my lost baby. I'm not a happy chappie.
Regards, Charlie.