Introduction

Dear distant relations,
My name is Charlie Pucker. For quite a while I have been investigating the kid-nap--- errr... watermelon-napping of my faithful pet watermelon happily named Gerald IV, descendant of Gerald III who is a descendant of Gerald II who is descendant of Gerald who is the nephew of Flora who was a sister to Jethro who was the father to Gerald who is the father of Gerald II who is fater of Gerald III who is the fater of Gerald IV who is my lost baby. I'm not a happy chappie.
Regards, Charlie.